Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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im watching you..

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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