How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

What's the deal with brown?

"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...