How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

KONY 2012

You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

Morning wood.

Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

-_- i like trains ... -_-

Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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