What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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SHINEE IS BACK PART HARD

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what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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Jerry.

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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The dewey decimal system

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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4 1/2

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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