Wanker

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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knock knock whos there Aids, now you've got it

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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Jackass! I was one of the central leaders of the fucking "old" underworld network, while you just scraped together whoever was left when the shit hit the ceiling and called it all yours! And stop trying to flatter yourself, your methods are an insult to everyone that knows what methods you are using, and probably every fucking else, charm is one thing, acting like a total queerfag is another. Lets see what the money you claim I will be receiving will do for me, as your goddamn "experts" "followers" are the ones that sliced my fucking eyeball almost in half, and if you had no idea, eyes are pretty much like fucking raw egg inside, so its not much to do about it. Listen, I know your fucking "order", its not Scientology, and its not FUCKING NERONISM! IF YOU ARE GOING TO CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS YOU DO THAT! MY NAME IS NERO, ITS NOT AN ALIAS, ITS NOT A NICKNAME NOR SOME FUCKING "CYBER IDENTITY" So you better make sure that money arrives soon enough, or I will reveal the name of your "order", the locations and whatever members I know to the public, and you know I do not fucking mean those worthless queers you sent or did not send to harass me. And you know I do not mean here on fucking horsehead network, Ill start a fucking torrent on the piratebay, and share every fucking secret left, and you can bet there will be nowhere for your "high and mighty" ass to hide. Listen, My name is Nero, your name is "Axel Knight" (Or so you claim, if I where you, I would be hiding in shame too!) SO HOW THE HELL DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT YOUR "ORDER" IS SUPPOSEDLY CALLED THE ORDER OF NERO?

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why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Walnut

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Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

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And more;

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

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Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Jewwy Jewstein

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they choose to. this is a free country, where people are free to travel as they please, despite what their sexual orientation may be. Jerk.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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