Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

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I'm Jewish

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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