There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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God. God.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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My life :(

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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