What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

"Knock knock." "No."

Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

8

how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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