Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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In Soviet Russia, life was very hard due to the failing economy and oppressive government.

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Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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JUST KIDDING^

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

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Carrot fingers

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A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

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Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops