Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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cancer

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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Two black guys jump off a bridge..who lands first? They would land at the same time due to earths gravity acting on them both with an equal force.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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