What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

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whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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kesha is a virgin.

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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