'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Top Gear USA

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's 9+ 10?! 19

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You have friends

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops