Penis-biter

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Illumati Confirmed

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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