A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

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I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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knock knock who's there Steve Go away

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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Testicles.

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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are you gay does your mom know

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops