PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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Nickelback

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What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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What's green and blue? yellow

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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