Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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How high is a Chinaman

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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