Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

Why was the gay guy sad?

Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

boobs.

whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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