A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

thumb_up thumb_down -8

TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In Soviet Russia, life was very hard due to the failing economy and oppressive government.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Top Gear USA

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's 9+ 10?! 19

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops