A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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A horse walks into a bar... just kidding the doors were to smal.l

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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You have friends

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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