Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

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why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops