Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops