Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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you and your family will die tonight

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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