How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

Once upon a time

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

elen degeneres is straight....

Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

roses are red. violets are violet...

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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