Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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Have you tried african food? No. Neither have they!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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run farther?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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