Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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This statement is false.

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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Yanter, Look it up

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why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

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bacon

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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