Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Potassium? K.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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why did arno fly away? he was a bird

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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