that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Everyone around him moves away from the grown man talking to his imaginary friend.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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