What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

Wait what? I did not type that!

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

watch a i d s left

What is a life without options.... an optionless life

How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

CRY

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

WHO WANTS SOW????

Bumsniffer

Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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