- Anti Joke

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

Pineapple.

heads up!

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

A man killed himself.

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

watch a i d s left

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??