what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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get in the car.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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you lose.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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