What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

jcjdj

What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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