A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Colby Michael Schluter

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

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why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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