Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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lol a man is drowning

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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