knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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Okay okay, its not like I wanted a serious answer anyway, bye!

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men's rights.

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops