BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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