Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

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whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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I enjoy owboy butt sex with big black men please call me at 9528579236

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Okay okay, its not like I wanted a serious answer anyway, bye!

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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