why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +23

fruit salad?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

thumb_up thumb_down +19

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

420

thumb_up thumb_down +17

yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops