Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...