Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

kyle dosnt question his sexuality

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

Woman's Rights

A man walks into a vagina

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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