I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops