Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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My children are mistakes

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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What's worse then the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Blonde Girls

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? They practice.

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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