(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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hey John will you make some copies

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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Anti-Jokes are the bomb .org

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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fduck

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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