When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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