What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down

The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down

what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

thumb_up thumb_down

._____________________. Whale!

thumb_up thumb_down

Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down

What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down

A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down

what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama's so fat that she pushed you off your computer and you couldnt write anymore "yo Mama" jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops