whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops