Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops