there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

The teacher hands out tests to the students and some of the students say to the teacher "what does 'no grade' mean?" The teacher responds, "Oh I need to grade them still.")

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

?J?o?k?e?

Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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