Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

giddy goat

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -38

how did the man die he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

thumb_up thumb_down -42

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops