Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Your Mom!!!

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A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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top kek

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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