Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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