Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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Why did it die Nothing died

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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